I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
