I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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