his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
