handjob tips. give me some.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
