The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
there was a trapeze. enough said
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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