sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
