he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
