Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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