I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
