Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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