is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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