I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
