textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize