So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
