We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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