we have officially lost it.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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