On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize