At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
