And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize