can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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