last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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