She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
