i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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