I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
