She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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