Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
