i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize