You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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