Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
