great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
