I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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