Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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