Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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