i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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