She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
