He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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