my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
