why didn't you poke me back
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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