why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
