the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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