i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize