I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
