STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
How does one acquire holy water?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
