And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
