Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
