your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
wow bdsm is so cute
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
