Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
