It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
