so explain again why im purple
no
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
