Umm I'm too high to move.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
