I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
