I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
If that was your dad, he is hot
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
