I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
