She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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