i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm both gender and math confused
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize