I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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