Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize
