I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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