If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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