how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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