So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize