Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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